I feel like a slag and a cow for missing yesterday's blog. In my defense, I had a room full of people to babysit until 2 a.m., and a roomate who needs "all the way dark" to sleep. So a thousand apologies from across the Atlantic. Double apologies because this one will have a touch of the War and Peace about it...as I have to write for 2 days.
Right, bun's out of the way, so now for the meat...literally. Saturday night I got the answer to the question every lady who watched Braveheart has been itching to ask: when it comes to kilts...undies, or none? Let's take a trip back to yesterday's dinner...
SCENE: Absorb Cafe. I'm sitting at my table with my tomAAAHHto and cheese toastie, when in walks the "hairy fairy" and his band of merry men (I was drinking water, and am 100% sure the sandwich was not laced. So stay with me). Turns out this was a "stag party," (bachelor party to all of us non-scots), the fairy getup was punishment for getting married, and much to my delight I was invited to "hav' yer supper witus" (locals! giggidy). So, ever the empirical researcher, I agreed. After a rousing round of questions about Barack Obama and the '16 year olds can buy guns in America' myth, I figured I could ask the million dollar question without fear. After a lot of laughs, and a bunch of gibberish about 'oh aye!' etc. etc., I received the following definition (translated into understandable english):
Although many Scottish men wear kilts, only the 'Proper Scot' walks about panty-free. To spot a 'Proper Scot,' one has only to glance at his surface level waistline accessories - if you see a metal buckle, then you can bet this Scot is enjoying a healthy dose of highland breeze!
So...mystery solved, no peep show required! (Mom, Sarah, and Angie, please try to contain your 'Awwww too BAD!'s). There are still 13 days to go, i've seen several proper Scots (most over age 50...yeesh...), and it only takes one strong wind gust to change that sentence.
Other Points of Interest:
1. Got to 'stage 1: the quivering lip' on the cry scale when walking through Holyrood Abbey. Not quite sure why... maybe a lots of walking/years of work/ghost of Mary Queen of Scots situation? Also saw a lock of MQOS's hair, and very nearly had my nose lasered off for putting it too near the glass case...
2. Found the Scottish equivalent of Snickers - the 'Starbar'... was delicious, but did not in fact turn me instantly into a celebrity. So... thanks crooked advertising!
3. Made a friend at the lunch counter who not only complimented me on my non-Texan accent, but also told me where to find the actual Hogwarts Train (for all of you non-nerds, this is a Harry Potter reference) which still runs in Ft. William. Incidently, we just happen to be staying over at Ft. William for 2 nights... with a free day...pilgrimage #2? I think so.
4. I am ashamed to admit it, but I really enjoy how the shower water goes all over the floor despite there being a shower door. So naughty, it's nice! (<-that's copyrighted...might use it for a Christmas card).
5. The Scots are some of the most cheese-lovin' people I have ever seen! I feel like i've lived on a diet of cheese and bread (and chocolate) for the last 5 days... yay arteries!
The Glaring Low Point of the Past 2 Days:
Decided to live on the edge, and went to a pub yesterday evening (The Green Mantle, if anyone is looking to take a baseball bat to the windows of a public establishment). It was going AMAZINGLY well, there was a live musician singing Johnny Cash, our group had polished off 3 orders of chips and a few drinks, and all of a sudden the red headed woman bartender (I stress the red-headed point, as I think that might have something to do with her short fuse...she's already on fire, after all... HAH! I'll be here all week...) waltzed over to our table, asked if we were ordering anything else, and then said "Well, you'll be needin' to giv' up yer table soon" when we said we were fine for the moment. Give up our table to whom, I wondered? To the swarms of people NOT lined up at the door? Yeah. So, I went up to her, asked if she was in need of a Midol, and then got arrested for pulling her hair...OK, so maybe I just imagined that and other equally satisfying scenarios all the way back to the dorms... but I will tell you this for free: the jail time would have been WELL WORTH IT.
What time is it? Laundry Time.
I've Got a Lov-e-ly Bunch of Coconuts, Deedly-Dee,
Ashley
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